There are times that God speaks so clearly it can be deafening. There are also times you just know it's Him speaking in a quiet nudge within your Spirit. Whatever the circumstance, I know we can still have difficulty listening and obeying (no matter how loudly He speaks)-- especially if the noise around us -- or inside us -- is too loud to allow us even to hear Him in those strategic moments.
I can identify a few times in my life that I knew without a doubt God was speaking directly TO me and telling me to do something specific. Yesterday was one of those times and I'm so thankful I allowed myself to truly listen to Him, because in return He once again gently reminded me of His faithfulness when we do listen. You see, I'm very analytical and maybe even sometimes cynical. Even when God is yelling at me, I'll rationalize that it's just "me" or that I'm not truly "hearing" Him say what I think He is. I honestly probably miss the mark of being obedient due to my inner self-talk more times than I'd like to admit. I quite frankly just basically talk myself out of it. But, there are those instances when I've allowed myself to listen and He always uses those times to remind me why He is God (and I'm not) and to reassure me of how He cares for even the smallest things.
Here's what happened (just so you can see how He works - not for my glory at all.) It's a little long but worth it for the point:
There is a couple that I attend church with who are currently in the process of adoption. They have been walking this path for several months and have been blessed to be a part of several fundraisers to help them raise the money needed for their adoption (Follow their journey Okey and Hannah's Adoption Journey). Well, I am also in the process of raising funds for a missions trip to Guatemala I will be a part of in July. I have been baking cakes for the past few weeks to raise money ... they have been selling their own custom tshirts as one of their ongoing fundraisers. So, last week I told them I wanted to purchase a tshirt and would get it from them at church yesterday(they're only $10 and you can contact them via the blog link to get yours) . In the meantime, I had a cake order that had come in and I was getting paid for that cake at church yesterday also. When I arrived at church, the only money I had was a $20 bill (remember the shirt was only $10) and I didn't have any way to get change. I felt like God spoke to me and told me just to go ahead and give them the $20, I was a little hesitant just because I once again thought it was just me talking to myself (no, I don't need medication lol). I even tried to figure out a way to get change without asking them for change back when I paid for my tshirt but the longer I sat there trying to figure out how to get change, the louder I felt Him speaking to me. So, as soon as service was over I gave the $20 bill to them and said I didn't need any money back and walked away. At that point I saw the lady who had ordered the cake from me and walked to where she was. She handed me the money for her purchased cake and I said "thank you" and that was it. Well, if that was the end of the story I wouldn't be blogging about this right now... so, as Paul Heil used to say "and now the REST of the story..." After I picked my kids up and walked to the van I pulled the money out to put in my wallet (that I had just received for my cake) and when I counted it, it was $20 MORE than what the cake cost. $20.00!!! Wow! Do you think that's as cool as I do? I think it's pretty darn neat.
I know it's just a small thing and maybe you don't see the big deal but to ME it was a big deal. Because once again despite my attempt to sabotage a blessing God wanted to give me (and my friends adopting), I tried to completely ignore what He was speaking to me and brush it off as just something I had talked myself into. He didn't have to prove to me that it was truly HIS voice I heard but I think it's pretty cool that He chose to. I think there are so many times we question His voice because we don't take the time to work to recognize it. So, when He does speak to us - either quietly or a big shout - we don't know it's Him because we have avoided listening for so long.
I pray that God continues to speak to me and that I continue to learn to listen. I always want to be able to hear what He has to say and follow what He tells me to do even when it's just a little thing (like buying a tshirt). Because unless I can be obedient in those little things, how will He ever know He can speak to me and trust me with the bigger things.
Today, let's try to take a little time to "Be still" and let Him be God and speak to our heart. It always pays off even if it's not in immediately...
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